It’s no secret that breaking up sucks. The thought of losing the best friend, partner, or romantic interest who gave your life meaning is terrifying. And while it can feel like there’s nothing you can do to make it better, moving forward in life isn’t impossible. If you’ve been through a breakup and are looking for ways to create a new chapter in your life, this article is for you.
Breaking up with someone takes a toll on you mentally and emotionally. However, staying stuck in sadness will only lead to more pain down the road. That being said, once you get past the initial sting of a breakup, you can move on and embrace the future with optimism again. Here are some practical tips that can help you close the chapter as you transition into a new phase of your life.
Re-evaluate your needs and wants
It’s normal to be consumed with sadness and anger as you cope with a breakup. While it can be tempting to shut yourself off from the outside world or take out your frustration on others, it’s important to take stock of what you actually want out of life. What are your biggest wants and needs? Are there things you’ve been putting off, like buying a car or house? Now is the time for you to outline the life experience you’ve been dreaming of. Dream big and consider all you’ve ever wanted.
Focus on yourself
Life is short. When you’re sad or angry, it can be tempting to spend a lot of time dwelling on what you’ve lost or how unfair your situation is. It can be comforting to believe that other people are to blame or that you deserve to be stuck in pain. But the truth is that has nothing to do with your worth. It’s important to step back and ask yourself: What do I want out of life right now? What do I want to spend my energy on? What do I want to care about? Once you’ve identified what you want for yourself, it’s easier to pick up the pieces for moving forward in life.
Make time to do the things you love
When you’re sad, it can be tempting to avoid anything that makes you laugh or feel happy. Always remember that your feelings are valid, and grief is feeling like all others. Don’t stuff it away. However, you want to make time for activities you enjoy, whether that’s listening to music, reading, writing, drawing, baking, or anything else that makes you feel better.
Build your new life before settling down with someone new
When you’re starting over after a bad breakup, it can be tempting to move forward immediately and start a new relationship. It’s normal to want to feel loved or to be closer to people who matter to you, but rushing into a new relationship can be dangerous. Instead of looking for a partner, take the time to really get to know yourself. Take classes, go to events or groups that inspire you, and get to know yourself better. Don’t be afraid to be alone with yourself or to make the necessary changes in order to find yourself again.
Be honest with yourself and others
It’s important to be honest with yourself about your feelings and what you need. It’s also important to be honest with others about what you need. Whether it’s saying “this is making me sad” or asking for what you need, be honest and clear with others so that they know exactly what you want. When you feel stuck or confused, it’s good to reach out to people who are close to you and let them know that you need help. It can be hard to ask for what you need, but being clear and honest will make it much easier. It’s okay to step back and assess where you are and where you’d like to be before you move forward. Just remember that this too shall pass and that there will be another, better chapter in your life. When you’re in a bad place, it can be tempting to believe that this is all there is, but you have the power to change your thoughts and your circumstances.
Breaking up with someone can be tough, and it’s normal to feel sad and angry. But it’s also important to take stock of your needs, make time for yourself, build your new life, be honest with others, and be honest with yourself. Moving forward in life takes time and energy—and that means giving yourself some time and care as well.
