How do you handle sexual temptation as a single Christian woman? Especially when you’ve had sex before. It seems like once our bodies have experienced sex, during certain times of the natural menstrual cycle, it’s more prone to wanting it.
I grew up going to church, and I honestly see why the church mothers warned young girls against sex before marriage. While I was literally, actually afraid that I would get struck by lightning or some tragic calamity would befall me if I had sex before marriage, I honestly see what they meant now. Even though my young brain took the warnings literal at the time. There are serious ramifications and consequences to having sex before marriage. For me the deliverance has had to be intense.
It’s Hard
Let’s be honest, life gets so much more complicated when sex is added to the mix. Actually missing something that you’ve gotten yourself accustom to, is just a very minor tip of the iceberg. When I was a young girl, I was freaked out by the warnings and horror stories I heard in church. While sex and sexual images were around me via my family, pornography, media, even at school, I didn’t end up having it until I was in my mid 20’s. Sadly, insecurity did away with my fears.
Truthfully once you get started with sex, it’s hard to break the cycle, especially in our own strength. Now that I’m older and I’ve consciously made the decision to abstain until marriage, not out of fear, but out of courtesy. Even still temptation is a monster that could care less about life changes and hormones will quickly try to hijack good sense.
If you’re currently on this path too, the good news is, we’re not alone. If abstinence or celibacy is a path you’ve intentionally decided on also based on your standards and faith walk, maybe I can help from my experience, and the lessons I’ve learned along the way. Here are some tips that help keep me sane in this single life. . .
You Are Your Family
Consider this , even while we’re single we’re a mother now. We’re a wife now. Yep! you’re somebody’s momma. Not physically yet, but if motherhood is something you desire then preparations for this should be taken into account. Ever considered how most pregnant women take extremely better care of themselves being with child. They’re eating for two, doing this and that for two. Even if we are single we’re still a village. Reproductive health doesn’t start at conception, it starts with understanding we’re reproductive beings. Mindfulness, health consciousness, being extremely selective about sexual partners is being considerate of your future family. There’s a village within you. Honor yourself and your family, future and present.
Self-Pleasure Is Not Your Friend
Masturbation done right can be an addictive little cycle in itself. While self-triggered dopamine and oxytocin hits can even seem productive, the time and energy it takes to do it is not worth the yield or the resulting stress. By the very nature of it being an action repeatedly practiced over time, it stealthily steals precious time. Masturbation doesn’t boost creative flow, it robs from greater things that could be manifested with the same energy.
As a woman If our sex-drive is at a high point due to our cycle, this is the time when we’re the most creative and the most energetic. This amazing power and energy during this time can be used for something more than just a quick release. Regardless of the time there is an activity or a project that can produce more long term happiness, maybe even income.
Show Yourself Some Care
Show yourself some extra love. Some other than masturbation ways to love on your body and celebrate the sensuality and softness of being a woman is self-care. Self-care goes beyond self-maintenance, the everyday things we do to be clean. It actually is that bubble bath, it’s the soft house slippers and luxury satin things. It’s even a nice pedicure and a face mask, done for you, by you or for you by someone else. However it hits different when you’re doing nice soft things for yourself. Your hands are also finding something to do. As we know, a virtuous woman has busy hands. Whatever self-care is for you, pipe it up in those moments where you’re feeling “extra.”
You might like: Rise Above It – 4 Ways To Release In High Stress Situations
Pray
Yep! Take time for some good old fashioned prayer. While it may seem simple, it’s the most time tested, tried and true. It’s actually the most powerful thing to be done on this list. Scripture says “Resist the devil and he will flee from you.*” I literally had an illustration of this while experiencing temptation that was greater than me, praying and then having to get away from an 18-wheel Mac truck. It’s a long story, but the point is GOD answered my prayer. I received insight in that moment. I believe that GOD answers prayer. Anytime we’re tempted above what we can bare, even if it’s not yet to that point, praying first is always the best route to take.
As we’re intentional about living our best lives in GOD’s will nothing is impossible for us to overcome. I should mention that I actually to the time to write down that I would not give into temptation, I wrote down some things that I would avoid that for me help flame temptation and I believe because I wrote it down, because I’m intentional about going in the same direction, I’m subject to receiving help. Be intentional and great things will come.
Great Book To Read/Listen to: Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing
Look Toward Your Destiny
Try your best to look beyond where you are and what you’re feeling in the moment you’re tempted. Act for it. Six months from now your life can be totally different. You can be in a totally different space. Our destiny is altered based on the choices we make. I pray that as you pray it becomes easier for you to stay the course “momma“, and not only stay the course, but begin to blaze new ones. Remember that we don’t have to keep playing along with the same narratives and cycles we’ve come to know. We can always choose a new path.
Whatever your sexual introduction was, good or bad, whatever choices you’ve made in the past, the power is in you to avoid temptation and actualize freedom.
What are some ways you handle sexual temptation as a single Christian woman? Share your thoughts in the comments and connect with me online @aprilinspired.
