In this moment of solidarity and transparency, no matter how mentally strong you are, do you ever feel like you’re balancing beauty in the negotiations of dating?
After two brutal years of dating with intention I told myself “Jas, if this one is just like the other ones, then maybe you should just give up on this dating thing.” Here I am after that declaration was realized, feeling completely defeated by someone’s son, who like so many others viewed me as an accessory in his quest of collecting objects.
This next part will seem “pick me-ish” but whatever. A thug tear or two escaped from my ebony eyes whilst fixating on this.
Am I not pretty enough, is it my weight, am I too independent, what about this submission thing these folks are constantly trying to brainwash me into. I find it hard to fathom that these things could disqualify me from the worthiness of being loved by another. What is the reason that I haven’t been able to disrupt the dating algorithm that has looped me into meeting people who only mean to harm me? In the words of Lauryn Hill “Tell me, who I have to be to get some reciprocity.”
I think most of us think that we are good people and would make an amazing partner to someone else. In my own self-evaluation I cant help but to realize that the common denominator in my failed attempts at love is … ME. We hold so much power in shifting our own narratives. All that is required to change is being honest with yourself.
Check out this clip of Sexologist and intimacy expert, Shan Boody on The Roommates Podcast as she explains why beautiful women struggle with dating.
