Make-Up should only be an
Enhancement to caress
The smooth glide of your
50 Shades of Melanin, but you
Coverin’
The Goddess…..Queenism
For the Bad Bish and OOOOH She a Ten-isms!
Don’t allow it to be the deception
Of your reflection
Unrecognizable
Recognizing
The many cat calls
Serial Advances
Attention to detail
Of Your Insecurities
Unbeknown in your confident stare
Behind that make-up
You
Made Up…
T. Cook
I remember asking my mom if I could wear makeup at the ripe age of 13! I tried everything to rationalize and give reasons to support my stance to have a really good debate with her that would ultimately go in me and my twin sister’s favor! Actually… that was in my mind because anyone who knows Tricia Ann (one of my mother’s many names) knows that this was not even a conversation! It was more like, I got caught with some make up on and my mom shut it down before it really got started! I was upset because I didn’t understand why I couldn’t wear it. I mean, the girls at school were wearing it, why couldn’t we?
Now, I am a mother. Ironically, raising three beautiful girls: Keyana (14 soon to be 15), Imari (12), and Jayden (8). Not unlike in my mother’s household (no shade momma), the conversation of make-up has come up with my oldest child. I actually listened to her whys and I think I did (in my way), but as positively as this conversation started there was a quick shift in the atmosphere, but let’s come back to that!
Reminiscing back to a time… My mother never wore makeup except for very special occasions and I mean VERY SPECIAL. Truthfully, the most she had ever worn was lipstick.. Garnet…. a wine color. The same one for any and every special occasion. My mother is a very pretty woman and her use of lipstick was only an enhancement to her beauty. This didn’t mean much then, but this will be very important to me later……and later in this post!
With my parents being divorced, my twin and I took advantage of the fact that some rules were different at my dad’s house as opposed to my mother’s house, so needless to say, I was able to wear makeup at my dad’s. I mean, it was just a little lipstick and eyeliner. What really could be the harm? OOHHH, LET ME TELL YOU!!!
The conversation became really uncomfortable and my eyes became big with fear.
My twin sister, cousin and I were at my dad’s house for the weekend and decided to go to the mall (that was the big hang out on the weekend), and you can rest assured that we were all dolled up! As we are walking around a group of guys walk up to us and as one would assume…they were diggin’ us (Lord, I’m showing my age)! One of the guys took a special interest in me, grabbed my hand and led me to a little corner close by so we could talk alone. I was blushing and smiling, smiling and blushing….cute from ear to ear. The conversation became really uncomfortable and my eyes became big with fear. And that smile… turned into a definite frown. Why, you ask? He was talking to me about things at the age of 13 that I definitely was not willing to do, nor did I want him to do to me. Now, let me give this guy a little bit of credit… and I mean a little, he had made me very aware that he was a sophomore in college, but I did not divulge my age and he definitely did not ask! For me, this experience changed me…. I didn’t put another ounce of make-up on until my junior prom. It was minimal and I was ok with that.
So why are we talking about this?
My oldest daughter has indirectly brought up this issue by getting caught with it on (side eye) one day after school. And YES, this was at the age of 13! After getting caught, she hit me with almost the same argument that I told my mother, in my head, when I was 13: “…my friends are wearing it and I am the only one that is not. It’s only lipstick or it’s only eyeliner….why can’t I wear it?” Quite simple, I said NO! At least I listened, right? Keyana is now 14, soon to be 15, and the conversation of makeup keeps coming up (has been since that day she got caught). Keyana has made co-captain of her cheer squad and with her being diagnosed with eczema as a little girl, she has had some severe battles with her skin. She is experiencing some skin discoloration in her face now as a result of the eczema, and at the suggestion of my mother (GO FIGURE) she suggested I let her do a little prime and foundation. In my mind, I was still like NO (thanks mom) but I thought about it for a little bit, mellowed out after some hours, and a few days later I said ok… with some stipulations.
“…I would wear a full face of makeup to hide my depression. To hide what I didn’t think was beautiful anymore. ME.”
Keyana was already given permission to wear colored lip gloss at age 13 but I added that she could do the foundation and primer on game days only with my assistance to put it on. Keyana had expressed that she only wanted to do mascara so I stated that she would be able to wear this at the age of 15, thinking this would be a great compromise because her birthday was coming up in November. This was all under the contingency that she BETTER NOT GET CAUGHT SNEAKING IT BEFORE HER BIRTHDAY! All smiles and full of excitement, she gave a loud OK and truth be told, I was super excited for her as well. The excitement was short lived… SHE WAS CAUGHT WITH THE MAKEUP ON ONCE AGAIN!!! UGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
To be honest family… I was upset about the sneaking of the makeup, but I truthfully was angrier at the fact that she didn’t keep her word. I mean, I really believed and had faith that she would! Her reasoning, her friends were teaching her how to do it (major side eye)! I had that covered…when it was time to show you…you remember right? ON YOUR BIRTHDAY!!! Now let’s go back to that image of my mother…
My mother was and still is absolutely stunning with or without her lipstick. I didn’t appreciate that saying, “less is more” until that incident with me and looking back to the example I had in my mother! That situation could have gone in a totally different direction but I was so blessed that it didn’t. In that moment at the age of 13, I realized why my mom did the things she did when it came to the makeup but most importantly…I realized I didn’t need it! I can remember when I was going through my separation, leading to my ultimate divorce from my ex-husband, I would wear a full face of makeup to hide my depression. To hide what I didn’t think was beautiful anymore. ME. I went back to that image of my mother. It took a few years but I got out of that depression. I remembered my beauty and began to embrace living in my natural me!!!
Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t think anything is wrong with makeup because I still wear some of it now, but it doesn’t define the QUEEN that is ME. As my mom did for me and what I will do for my three…My princesses are being groomed to be QUEENS. WITHOUT HAVING TO BE MADE UP!!!
Tiffany is a mother of 3, teacher, singer, songwriter, and growing. Follow her on Instagram @tippame.
