I got tired of having something to say and not saying it because my hair wasn’t done.
Or because I didn’t have on makeup. Or the lighting wasn’t right. Or the background wasn’t giving what I wanted it to give.
And it wasn’t just how I looked.
I could have an idea for a video, something I genuinely wanted to share, and somehow turn it into a whole production in my head before I ever pressed record.
I needed the right setup. The right camera angle. Maybe I should wait until I get my hair retwisted. Maybe I should put on some makeup. Maybe I should plan out the shots and figure out how I’m going to edit it.
Girl, I just wanted to share a thought.
How did we get here?
When I Could Just Pick Up the Camera
I remember a time before we all became content creators.
I would pick up my camera, turn it toward myself, and talk.
I didn’t care what was in the background. I didn’t worry about whether my hair was done. I wasn’t thinking about transitions, cinematic scenes, or how I was going to edit every little thing.
I had something on my mind, and I wanted to share it.
So I did.
And you know what’s interesting? That freedom helped me become the creative I am today.
I learned by creating. I explored ideas because I wasn’t afraid to try them. I developed my eye for visual storytelling because I was actually telling stories.
But somewhere along the way, things changed.
I became more knowledgeable about production, more skilled at editing, more aware of what makes a beautiful visual.
And somehow, with all that knowledge, I became less free.
Think about that.
I knew more about creating content than I ever had before, but I was finding more reasons not to create it.
When Did Everything Have to Be Aesthetically Pleasing?
Listen, I love a beautiful visual.
I appreciate good lighting, thoughtful editing, and a well-produced piece of content. That’s part of my creative expression, too.
But I started noticing how much of what I wanted to share never made it out of my head because I couldn’t make it look the way I thought it needed to look.
A thought would become a concept.
The concept would become a production plan.
And the production plan would become something I’d get around to later.
Meanwhile, the moment had passed.
I had started treating everything I wanted to share like it needed to be a finished production.
And I’m over that.
Because everything doesn’t have to be aesthetically pleasing to be worth sharing.
Sometimes a thought is just a thought. Sometimes something happens while I’m out enjoying my life, and I want to share it right then.
I don’t want to wait until I get home, sort through all the footage, figure out the edits, and make it look like something.
I want to share it while I’m experiencing it.
As it is.
As I am.
We’ve Started Editing Out the Human Parts
And it’s not just how we look.
Have you noticed how we edit the way people talk now?
Every pause. Every um. Every moment somebody takes to gather their thoughts.
Gone.
We’ve gotten so accustomed to videos where people speak in one continuous stream that we’re almost uncomfortable watching someone stop and think.
But people pause when they talk.
We search for words. We reconsider things. We realize halfway through a sentence that what we’re trying to say needs a little more thought.
That’s part of having a conversation.
I remember noticing how Will Smith would sometimes pause when speaking, as though he was consciously considering what he wanted to say next.
I always appreciated that.
There’s something beautiful about watching someone think.
And I wonder what we’re losing when we decide those moments aren’t worth keeping.
Maybe we don’t need to say everything so quickly.
Maybe we could all stand to consider our words a little more before sharing them.
I know I want to give myself that space again.
I don’t need every sentence I speak to sound rehearsed.
Sometimes I’m going to pause. Sometimes I’m going to say um. Sometimes I’m going to figure out what I mean while I’m saying it.
And I’m okay with that.
I Posted Anyway
Recently, I reached a point where I just got tired of holding myself back.
Tired of wanting to make videos and not making them.
Tired of having thoughts I wanted to share and deciding I needed to look a certain way first.
Tired of feeling like my own creativity was being stifled by my expectations of what the finished product should look like.
And I finally said to myself, you know what?
Y’all gonna take me as I am.
So I started doing it.
I made a video talking about this very thing.
I went out to events and started posting while I was there, sharing what I was experiencing instead of waiting until everything could be edited and polished later.
And here’s what surprised me.
I didn’t suddenly stop noticing the imperfections.
I still noticed my hair. The lighting. The background. All those little things I would normally use as reasons to wait.
I hesitated.
But I posted anyway.
And THAT was the liberating part.
It wasn’t that everything suddenly looked the way I wanted it to look.
It was that I stopped requiring it to.
I had something to share, and I shared it.
In that moment.
As I was.
I’m Going Back to As I Am
The more I’ve thought about this, the more I’ve realized that this isn’t only about creating content.
It’s about accepting myself as I am.
Not just the version of me with a fresh retwist, a full face of makeup, perfect lighting, and a beautifully edited video.
Me.
Right now.
Because if I keep waiting until every detail is exactly how I want it, I’m going to miss opportunities to share things that matter to me. And I’m going to keep putting unnecessary conditions on something that used to bring me so much joy.
I don’t want that anymore.
I’m still going to create beautiful things. I’m still going to appreciate a well-produced video, a great camera angle, and good lighting.
But everything I share doesn’t have to be a production.
Sometimes I just have something to say.
Sometimes my hair isn’t freshly retwisted. Sometimes I’m not wearing makeup. Sometimes the background isn’t perfect.
And sometimes I need a minute to figure out exactly what I’m trying to say.
And that’s okay.
I’m not waiting until I look better, sound better, or have everything set up just right to express myself.
I am enough to show up right now.
As I am.
#AsIAm
