Help Me Sis! I’m Drowning in My Suicidal Thoughts

Chances are that if you are reading this article you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or ideation and are seeking ways to help. Before we jump into the context of suicide lets first define some terms. Suicide is the act of intentionally causing one’s own death and suicide ideation is the planning or contemplating of suicide. Suicide is thought to be linked to depression, but that is not always the case and depression does not equal suicide. Depression is a mood disorder that is characterized by the constant feeling of sadness and loss of interest. 

Within the black or African American community, there is this idea that we as a race do not contemplate suicide or commit suicide. Women also sweep a lot of their issues under the rug and believe that they have to be strong, continue to support their family, not experience an emotion or negative thoughts. We are often deemed the angry black woman when in actuality we are not angry we are dealing with unresolved issues in our minds and may not know how to deal with them. We do need help and it’s okay to cry and sit with your emotions. It’s also okay to seek therapy. 

The black community has a history of saying “that’s crazy” anytime our friends or family members share their past or recent experience with rape, abuse, daddy/mommy issues or adverse childhood experiences. We have been taught to normalize these experiences and that it happens to everyone black. This is WRONG! That’s not to bash the community but to consider this as a wake-up call or warning sign. We have to learn how to help a friend seek help and become more emotionally competent in these situations. The best way to support someone else that may be thinking about suicide is to be supportive and not brush off their seemingly joking remarks about suicide or death, these are cries for help. Have a serious conversation with them about it.

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Suicidal thoughts can manifest at any moment, you could be watching T.V., stressing about finances, experiencing happy times or even while you are driving to pick your kids up. Rule #1 when thinking about suicide, seek help. This could include phoning a friend, calling 911 or admitting yourself into a mental health facility. Rule #2 Always have a support plan in place, this may include reaching out to friends, going to therapy and removing potential items or things in your home that can lead to self-harm. Rule #3 learn more about yourself, including triggers and coping mechanisms. These can include meditation, going for a walk in nature, looking at happy images or videos, journaling, changing your thoughts, exercise and finding purpose in your life. Below is a list of warning signs for someone thinking about committing suicide:

  • Talking about wanting to die or kill oneself
  • Seeking ways to kill oneself
  • Feelings of hopelessness or trapped
  • Start or increase drug or alcohol use
  • Extreme mood swings
  • Isolating or withdrawing
  • Anxious, agitated or radical behaviors
  • Sleeping too much or too little
  • Giving away personal items
  • Visiting or calling people to say goodbye
  • Previous suicide attempt

Resources

  • 911
  • Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
  • Text TALK to 741741 to text with a trained crisis counselor from the Crisis Text Line for free, 24/7
  • Veterans Crisis Line, send a text to 838255

Asha M. Creary, M.Ed., LPC, NCC is the owner of Crave Counseling in Austin, TX. Connect with her on social media at Crave Counseling on FB & Instagram.

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