The hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do is admit that I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I am 31 years young and I’ve already lived many lives. But I am still not who I am yet to become. I am constantly learning, shedding, becoming and dying to myself daily. I am not who I was
yesterday and I will never again be the woman that I am today. I am on a never-ending journey of becoming and because I know this it allows me to evolve with grace.
When you truly begin to evolve with grace, you release the need to beat yourself up for your choices, you hold yourself accountable, you forgive yourself and you accept every version of yourself. The past, the present and the future. Innerstanding that every version of yourself is needed on this journey.
Is it easy to accept yourself right away? Not at all! When I began looking in the mirror to see my soul, I was almost disgusted with the type of person that I was. I was a user, a master manipulator, a pathological liar. A girl who didn’t trust anyone because I simply didn’t trust myself. And with these characteristics, I also had to take into account the lives that I’ve affected with my behaviors. The people I’ve disappointed, the homes I’ve helped to destroy, the hearts that will have to heal from my despise. I was SICK. I was disgusted with myself. But I had to forgive myself so that I could stop drowning in misery and move forward.
That’s when I made the commitment to myself to be more cognizant of the woman that I am showing up to be each day. Ensuring that I am always kind, compassionate and authentic with myself, therefore, it’d be
easy to treat others with the same respect. I’ll be honest, I have yet to master perfection with this. I am still a work in progress, nevertheless, I am staying focused on my intentions and showing up as honestly as I know how. And really, that’s all we can do.
Nobody has all the answers. Even the experts, guru’s and psychics can’t predict who you’ll be. Nobody can do that but you. You are the co-creator of your universe so you get to decide who you’ll be, what you’ll do and what your legacy will be. It’s ok that you have no idea what the fuck you’re doing.
It’s ok that you don’t know who you are or what your purpose is. BREATHE. This thing called life doesn’t come with a manual, it’s simply a learn as you go journey. You’ll make choices that will either lead you down the left path or the right. Neither is wrong. Each path will offer different elements, different people and different outcomes but your destination remains
the same. So don’t get so caught up in trying to be perfect or make all the “right” choices because that simply doesn’t exist. Just live! Experience! Make mistakes! Grow and Evolve! Forgive yourself and press reset as many times as needed! Trust that your intuition is your guide! You will know whether the choices you are making are best for you by the way you feel. This is why it is important to check in with yourself and have an authentic conversation. Ask yourself, “how am I today? How is my mental space? What am I dealing with/tolerating right now? What feels heavy?” Asking yourself these type of questions will allow you to be aware of what needs to be reevaluated, adjusted or removed to ensure joy & peace of mind.
Each day won’t be perfect sunshine because, without the rain, nothing grows! So be thankful for each experience that forces you to be completely uncomfortable. Because it is in the moments of pain, discomfort and uncertainty that we learn just how strong, soft & resilient we truly are.
Forgive yourself today. Love on yourself today. Cherish who you are today. Because tomorrow you will be a totally different person! And you still may not know what the fuck you’re doing! Cheers to the journey of the unknown!
I wish you love, light & freedom on your journey.
Mone Wallace is a host, and wellness blogger. Follow her on instagram @monewallace.
