courtesy of Philly In Focus
By Felicia Roche 7.9.14: Global – (Lifestyle): A few years ago I wrote a poem called “Angry Black Woman.” It was my expressive explanation as to why strong, independent black women like myself, can sometimes come off as intense, closed off and … at times… even angry. The “angry black women syndrome” that I’ve heard people refer to over the years is directed at the attitude that some black women bring with every statement they feel strongly about. You know, the rolling of the eyes, snapping of the neck and their stern voice. The independent stance they take on life makes it clear that they can handle themselves, and don’t need anybody but Jesus! It is difficult to get a word in once an “angry black woman” has a point to make, and you will usually find yourself on the losing end of a debate if you dare to get into one with her. Despite my use of it in this post, I don’t agree with the term “angry black women.” In fact, I find it insulting… it frustrates me. When I hear people say it… it makes me…well, angry. If we are honest with ourselves, however, we can see why many black women are perceived as angry; a lot of it has to do with the culture. Black people have never been a soft spoken group of people. Couple that with environmental and societal queues, and you will find even more contributing factors for this communication style. 
The point is this: it’s insulting and dismissive to use the term “angry black women.” If you talk to any black woman labeled as angry, on a very real level, often you’ll find a very soft, nurturing and loving human-being, shielded by a tough and strong exterior. During the conversation, you will learn of her complexity and probably a story of triumph. Her story may include having to protect herself from men, possibly since childhood, because she was most likely violated and had to become Hercules just to continue on living. The black woman you perceive as angry took care of a lot of people and became wise beyond her years at an early age. She trusted people, like her father, who let her down, time and time again. She wasn’t born angry, but it was probably close to birth that she experienced her first broken heart. It was then that she understood she had to protect herself… no matter what people said, and who didn’t like it; she empowered herself. She may yell often, but she also speaks up for those who don’t have a voice. She may not get along with everybody, but she will fight for those who can’t defend themselves. So the next time you find yourself labeling a fiery, outspoken, and strong black woman as “angry,” just think about how insulting that can be to someone who has endured hardships, overcome adversity, and who at heart is a hero in her own right. Have a cup of coffee with the black woman you perceive as angry, and ask her to share her story. But when she does, hold on to your hat because she’s going to take you for an adventure! It’s going to be packed with hurdles, flips, turns and hoops. But most of all, it’ll be a story laced with strength. Once you listen to her and see the individual she is at heart, the word ANGRY will be replaced with word STRONG… I guarantee it!
Thanks for reading!
