This show is a beautiful example of how unattended traumas become a generational issue.
The conversation with relationship expert, Tracy Mcmillan, really allowed me to get a deeper understanding of why she took part in writing this television show. She explained how minority communities don’t believe in therapy and due to that a lot of our traumas go untreated. As a result of this, we bring those issues into our beliefs and they affect our relationships.
She continued the importance of this show is to see both sides, the side of the couple and the side of the family who is in disagreement with the relationship. After watching clips of how the families reacted to the engaged couple, Tracy explained in depth how we must begin to heal ourselves in order for any of our relationship to be healthy. Any relationship that we are involved in is a direct reflection and extension of who we are.
Because parents don’t take time to heal from their own traumas they go on to push their fears and beliefs onto their children. If their children veer from the path the parent has taught, the parents rebel their decisions. Especially if the child has individuated themselves. What we seem to misunderstand is that releasing the trauma from within us, allows us to release the family also. Which is why Tracy heavily recommends therapy.
One of the best parts of the conversation was when Tracy mentioned accepting your flaws through self love! She mentioned that because a lot of us don’t practice self-love, it’s hard for us to extend love to others. We must start within and love and accept ourselves flaws and all so that we will choose the partners that are a good fit for us. And not just trauma bonding. Also we discussed boundaries and how we are responsible for setting them in place. Not to offend others but to protect us. This way our family knows their limits and doesn’t overstep those boundaries.
The conversation with Tracy was personal, intimate and so very necessary. It truly allowed me to get a better understanding of the show and parts of my self! It’s necessary and so important, especially to our community. Thank you for this show and I am most certainly looking forward to the next season!
